Thursday, September 16, 2010
numb.
-9/16/2010 06:40:00 PM
so.....my eyas ended (or at least the majority of it). i should feel absolutely elated/ecstatic/simply out of this world right now but all i feel is nothing. nada. zilch. except maybe a big black hole which just equates to nothing. i thought id be jumping about, crazy as ever, or at least smiling but all i feel is: nothing. which sucks big time. if im gonna get stuck in an emotional doldrum this is definitely not the time. maybe im a robot hmmm.......
anyway, this is a major party pooper. i mean, this is practically the light at the end of the tunnel that ive been trying to get to for like the past xxxxxx months and then suddenly when i get out, i hit a wide expanse of hot. sandy. desert. and i can tell you, the shade definitely seemed nicer. i mean sure i still have my math paper, chinese and french but i should at least feel some sense of release of some small degree but all i get is this.. this....infuriating indifference. maybe it was the fact that i majorly screwed up my physics exam, or maybe it was my crappy french prelims, i dunno but if that were the case, i should be feeling angry/disappointed (well french not really. considering i didnt study much) or upset not this 'oh okay. so....what's next?' kind of feeling. rarghmamapapaya.
and to top it off, my mom wont quit nagging. why arent you doing chinese? why arent you doing math? why are you reading a book? why are you using the computer? etc etc etc for heaven's sakes i thought people outgrow the WHY stage of their childhood. apparently not. but i supposed its not all that bad. at least im feeling something: annoyed frustrated and majorly pissed.
unforgettable memories,
they stay with us, forever.
