Tuesday, August 3, 2010
choices
-8/03/2010 09:14:00 PM
today, during chem prac, ms tsang decided to educate us little girls of 16 a tad about the working world. starting off with chemical engineering. pros, cons, blahblahblah. as i sat there listening, i cant help but feel that my life is just whisking away (think WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH. down the toilet bowl) somehow or other, we wander off to the topic of having kids. and im thinking, 'what the hell man. im sixteen. friggin sixteen. i dont think im gonna have kids anytime soon -.-' but then she goes on to say how certain courses in unis for certain professions require you to take specific subjects in jc and it all comes crashing down on me: that one tinsy winsy itty bitty miniscule minute etc etc decision could potentially change (for better or for worse) my entire life. the only one i have. i dont ever ever want to make a decision that's so big yet so small at the same time! IM JUST SIXTEEN FOR HEAVENS SAKE. and i cant really decide. i have no idea why but i just cant. when i look around, everyone seems kind of sure what they want, me? i just go with the flow, study for the sake of studying, kind of like a robot (gawd this makes me sound like such a no lifer T.T)its just sad you know. i dont know what i want, what i hope for, wish for. its just what my mom wants for me. hopes for me. wishes for me. pretty clear who's in charge here. (dont believe? the other day she went, " hey what are you taking for jc? you better take french okay. its important. it'll get you a good job" im still taking french because its on and off enjoyable. but if im stacking my grades on it. haha good luck folks.)
thinking about this, i've realised the root cause of all this. society. society and its friggin norms. everybody wants to grow up, go to an Ivy League university or something similar, get a high paying job and then what? there'll be no end to the money you earn! im pretty sure out of all those people out there who want to be doctors or lawyers, the motivation for most of them is purely because of the money, or because their parents want them to. im not saying it wrong im just saying im sick and tired of society and its expectations. you're only successful if you're a high flyer, with a high paying job, a decent house etc etc. sometimes i think it was better to live in the olden days, less pressure, more emphasis on the living of life etc. i think people were way nicer then too. maybe its just all those fantasy novels ive been reading giving me all these unrealistic idealistic utopian view of the middle ages but ive got to say, i dont really like how the world is turning out. people are getting more and more sedentary and with all the money, they're simply missing out on the small wonders life has to offer. think about it.
in other news, for the first time in my 4 years in rg, i missed 4.0 by 1 mark and i couldnt care less. seriously. i couldnt care less.
unforgettable memories,
they stay with us, forever.
